SFP - Chapter 4

It was a quiet morning in the palace, the kind of calm only achievable after a night of heavy rain and heavier sleep. Birds chirped like it was their job (which it was), and servants bustled through corridors like ants with embroidered trays. The sun had barely peeked out when Eunuch Zhao tiptoed into Lin Xiao's chamber, his expression a practiced blend of hope and dread.

"Your Highness... it's time," Eunuch Zhao called out softly, inching closer to the massive bed.

A lump stirred beneath a mountain of silk blankets. Then, a soft groan.

"No, it isn't," came Lin Xiao's muffled protest. "Time is a social construct." His voice was thick with sleep and philosophical resentment.

Eunuch Zhao exhaled patiently. "Today is your first day at the Royal Academy."

The lump swore. Loudly. And added a pillow toss for dramatic effect.

Fifteen minutes later, Lin Xiao was dressed like a proper prince—reluctantly. His ceremonial robe was slightly crooked, his hair only half-tied, and his expression that of a man wronged by fate and forced out of bed far too early. He leaned on Eunuch Zhao as if gravity had suddenly increased around him.

"Why must I study what I already know I’ll ignore?" he asked while chewing on a sesame bun with all the enthusiasm of a sloth forced to jog.

"It’s imperial protocol, Your Highness. Also, the Empress personally requested you attend," Eunuch Zhao said with a careful tone, dabbing his forehead with a handkerchief.

Lin Xiao paused, eyes narrowing. He considered the political implications of disappointing the Empress. Then he sighed.

"Fine. But only if they have cushions. I refuse to let my buttocks suffer in the name of Confucius."

The Royal Academy of Yuan was a majestic building of jade pillars and golden roof tiles. Its gates opened with the kind of slow, regal creak that suggested even the hinges were educated. Rows of young nobles in crisp robes stood in attention as Lin Xiao's carriage rolled in.

A hush fell.

A duck quacked.

Lin Xiao stepped out, fan in hand, expression blank. He looked around like a man facing exile. "Greetings, fellow victims of academic torment," he announced solemnly.

Several students gasped. One bowed. Another whispered, "He speaks like a retired philosopher who’s given up."

Lin Xiao took a long, slow look around. "Is there a nap chamber or must I create one with desk arrangements?" he asked, voice utterly sincere.

His assigned seat was near the window—a strategic location for cloud watching and potential escape. The lecturer, a strict-looking man with a beard shaped like a question mark, began with Confucian classics.

"The path to wisdom begins with respect," the lecturer intoned.

Lin Xiao, scribbling lazily in his notebook: Path to wisdom = paved with snacks and naps

Eunuch Zhao, seated behind as an observer, coughed violently, clearly regretting his existence. The lecturer asked a question to the class: "What is the foundation of governance?"

Lin Xiao raised his fan. "Food security and afternoon naps."

A pause.

"Would you care to elaborate, Prince Lin Xiao?" the lecturer asked, trying to remain composed.

"Governance begins with not being hungry or sleepy," Lin Xiao said, deadpan. "No rebellion ever started after a nap and a bowl of noodles. Unless someone stole the noodles."

The class broke into muffled laughter. One student tried to hide behind his book as his shoulders shook.

The lecturer blinked. Then slowly… nodded. "Unexpected... but valid."

By lunch, Lin Xiao had somehow gathered a small following. Three noble sons sat around him under a plum tree, listening intently as he described his philosophy of minimal effort, maximum peace.

"But what about the throne?" one whispered, eyes wide.

"Let it be a shelf," Lin Xiao replied, sipping tea. "Put nice things on it, admire from afar. Never climb. Unless you’re cleaning dust."

Another student clapped. A third bowed and muttered, "Master Lin has ascended."

Eunuch Zhao, watching from a distance, sighed. "He’s founding a cult of comfort."

The duck, pecking at Lin Xiao’s leftover rice, quacked approvingly and hopped onto his lap. Lin Xiao casually fed it a pickled plum.

"See? Even the duck understands me," Lin Xiao said, gently patting the bird's head as though he were conferring a scholarly degree.

The next class involved calisthenics and sword stances. Lin Xiao stood stiffly with the others as the instructor barked out instructions.

"Bend your knees! Lower stance!"

Lin Xiao whimpered. "I bent them yesterday. They're still emotionally recovering."

The instructor glared. "Again!"

Lin Xiao slowly sank into a shallow squat, making exaggerated creaking noises with his mouth. "Ehhhhh... gruuuh... My noble lineage is disintegrating with every squat."

A fellow student fell over laughing. Eunuch Zhao covered his face with both hands.

That evening, reports reached the Emperor.

"Your Majesty, the Fifth Prince attended all classes, submitted his scrolls, and led a peer discussion on the political benefits of shared nap times."

The Emperor raised an eyebrow. "...And the outcome?"

"He has been nominated as Student Representative for Innovative Thinking."

The Emperor leaned back. "Xiang'er’s child is strange. But effective."

Meanwhile, Lin Xiao, back in his chamber, sprawled on a bamboo mat, looked up at the stars.

"They made me class leader," he mumbled, in disbelief.

Eunuch Zhao gasped. "Truly? Your Highness, this is a great honor!"

"Yeah..." Lin Xiao yawned. "Next thing you know, they'll ask me to reform the school. Or worse, attend meetings."

[System Alert: Side Quest Complete – "Disrupt Education Gently"]
[Reward: Prestige +500 | Blueprint Unlocked: Lazy Desk Arrangement – Sent to Parallel World]

Far away, in the drought-stricken world, the other Lin Xiao received the desk blueprint and used it to build shaded study corners for village children.

They called it the "Wisdom Nook." He smiled.

And somewhere, across space and time, two salted fish kept swimming in different directions—but with the same laid-back heart.